It'll pass

 7/19/21

Woke up this morning with my head feeling dark and crowded. Could've been that I didn't sleep well - I'm never good when I don't sleep enough. Had an appointment that got me out, afterwards I put "Blue Ridge Parkway" into my GPS. Then I put the top down on the Miata.

 Because of the work I used to do, I am a planner. My brain craves structure while my heart loves spontaneity = quandary. I didn't plan to drive Blue Ridge Parkway today, but I'm SO SO SO glad I listened to my heart. Often my brain is a complete jerk.

Untethered doesn't mean get rid of all of my possessions, though I've come pretty close to doing that. I want to be untethered from thoughts. With a lack of sleep, I'm susceptible to depression. My friend Nitcha mentioned displacement to me - the word sums up how I feel when I get into these moods. Thoughts suck the joy out of this once-in-a-lifetime chance to travel. They rarely have anything positive to report, just the endless droning about fear, sadness, isolation.  Doing the work to understand that thoughts are auto-pilot garbage isn't easy. I'm human and fall into the trap of it more often than I like to admit. 

Blue Ridge Parkway!!! Photos do not do it justice. The smell of it -  I could smell the flowers, the trees. The clouds creeping over the mountains, the rocks wet from the rain, waterfalls in the distance - it's all unbelievably gorgeous. I don't have enough words to describe it. I squealed driving into tunnels, I got rained on with my top down and didn't care, I stopped at every scenic overlook. Thoughts had no place here, only joy and gratitude.